By Becky Ebenkamp

You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows a 15-year-old, 90-pound Ukrainian supermodel these days. Just take a look at the advertisements gracing any fashion or lifestyle magazine (that is, if you can find one that’s still in print.) Nothing to see here, people. Move along, move along.

Ever since a teenage Brooke Shields showed us that nothing came between her and her Calvins, apparel marketing has been about putting a pretty picture (or, sometimes, a mildly disturbing one) into the fashion mags. But most newsstand glossies are today almost as thin as the models shown strutting around inside them. The dismal economy seems to have shut down everything that drove fashion marketing and even fashion itself—including its ethos of excess.

“No one is doing the over-the-top escapism—that is over,” says Tom Julian, president of New York branding firm Tom Julian Group. So what’s ‘in’ then? “Craftsmanship and heritage,” Julian says. In other words: safe, fiscally responsible themes. Otherwise, running down his mental checklist, Julian finds little worth noting. “VF Corp isn’t doing anything in terms of budgets and big campaigns,” he says. “Warnaco and Philips Van Heusen? Hugo Boss—nothing that different. The Donnas of the world, LVMH-flat. Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Esprit, Valentino...”

Numbers tell the story of why apparel brands have left ambitious marketing plans at the bottom of their closets. According to NPD Group, total U.S. apparel sales declined 6.3 percent for the quarter ending in February.

Even old staples like Gap haven’t been advertising on TV thanks to the state of business. The company’s value-oriented retail apparel chain, Old Navy, has one of the few memorable TV campaigns of the season with its slightly creepy “SuperModelquins” via Crispin, Porter + Bogusky. They’re the only truly memorable creations since late 2008, when Levi’s online campaign “unbutton your beast” charmed America with protuberant creatures that popped out of dudes’ pants and told jokes. Dollar volume sales for total jeans rose 2.3 percent from December 2008 to February 2009.

Ironically, another category that isn’t tight is... tights. Sales of the accessory were up 11 percent in dollar volume for the 3 months ending February. Consumers are using the low-cost legwear as an affordable wardrobe makeover or enhancement

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